Entries Tagged 'Marriage' ↓

I was raised and educated to be a Catholic. I attended Catholic schools from grade school until I graduated in college. My husband is a Buddhist and one of his uncles is an esteemed monk. Believe it or not, religion has never been an issue with us.

I sometimes go to Catholic church here by myself or with friends. My husband has never stopped me from practicing my religion and I the same with him. He reacted positively to my mother’s suggestion to have our son baptized in the Catholic church. However, it was I who chose not to.

There are times when my husband and I talk about our son’s religion and we always conclude that we would let him choose for himself. For now, we believe that we should inculcate in him the belief in a higher being. I asked my husband what if our son choose the Islamic religion? He just said that as long as he knows what he wants and he’s not hurting anybody, then it’s fine with him. I was shocked with his open-mindedness with this topic, but I’m glad that having different religions is not a hindrance to our relationship as a couple and as a family.

I didn’t know how to cook when I got married. As they say, I could only boil water and that’s it. We had a restaurant in the Philippines and with cooks in the family, I wasn’t expected to do anything.

My husband knew that I was an amateur when it comes to household chores. For the first weeks of our marriage life, he did everything until my conscience bugged me. He was bringing home the bacon and yet he had to mop the floors and cook at home too! I never expected to marry a foreigner and live in a foreign country. I always thought that I’d get a helper when I get married. Some things in life are totally unpredictable.

Like I said, my husband cooked during the early days of our marriage. We would often go out to eat too. I thought that time that we were spending unnecessarily and it would be more cost efficient to eat at home.

Learning how to prepare meals meant calling almost everyday to the Philippines. I frequently bugged my second sister, who’s a great cook, on how to do things. Then my mother sent me a few cookbooks, among them Nora Daza’s Galing-galing. The internet was helpful too. I’d browse through the recipes of Pinoycook and try them. I would do exactly as what’s written on the book and the internet. If they say 1 teaspoon, I’d really use just 1 teaspoon.

It took me a while to develop my cooking skills. When we spent a week’s vacation at my parents-in-law’s home in the province, my mother-in-law taught me several Korean dishes. She recalled the last time we met how I served them noodles for breakfast! She said she’s amazed at how I learned to cook Korean food properly. In fact, she would often request me to prepare dwenjang jjige (soybean stew) whenever they visit us.

This website - Apt 1014 - is all about a Filipino-Korean household. I thought it would be nice to share some of the recipes I’d learned through the years.

My husband reminded me of our fourth Korean wedding anniversary today. We had our wedding on the 9th of May in 2004, a date chosen by my parents-in-law. We didn’t really care about having a “public” ceremony but the PIL thought it is improper not to have one (they were worried that time of what their friends would say).

If you’re wondering why I titled this post the “Korean Wedding (factory” is because that’s how I felt about my own wedding. Like I said, we didn’t pick the date for the ceremony. We didn’t choose the venue nor the food served at the buffet. We didn’t select the design of the invitations. We didn’t distribute them either. We didn’t pay for the wedding nor received the monetary gifts

So what did we do at our own wedding? I went to the wedding hall’s gown shop two weeks prior for the dress, attended our wedding, ate and that was it (as far as i can remember). It was a worry-free wedding and I didn’t turn to a bridezilla…

Pure traditional weddings could be expensive. I have attended a lot of weddings but nothing that is traditional in the real sense of the word. What couples usually have is a “compromise” - a blend of Western and Korean. The “Western” ceremony is held first with all the guests in attendance at the wedding hall. Then the couple transfers to another room for the traditional ceremony attended by family members. A wedding hall is in a building with several rooms. Ceremonies are held simultaneously and one after another.

Our wedding was scheduled at 12 noon on a Sunday at a wedding hall in my husband’s hometown. I woke up at 6 o’clock in the morning for a shower. A half hour later, I was at the parlor with other brides whose weddings were also held at the same wedding hall. There were two make-up artists and two hair stylists. Since I couldn’t speak Korean, they just did what they thought was good for me. I still remember hating the make-up artist for shaving for my eyebrows!

After the hair and make-up, each bride were assisted for the wedding gown fitting. I was at my fattest ever but luckily, the gown still fit We didn’t wear shoes but ordinary home sandals. They were hidden after all by the long gown and train. I was assigned an attendant who carried the train and made sure that I looked good.

The wedding hall was located two buildings away from the parlor. I had to walk there wearing my wedding dress and being all made up. No decorated wedding car to transport me.

At the wedding hall, I stayed inside a small room where I was greeted by friends and family. Five minutes before the wedding, we proceeded outside for the march. My husband and I walked hand-in-hand to the altar. My father has been dead for more than a decade while my brothers were busy with their jobs in the USA. I didn’t really care for the wedding anyway so I was fine.

The ceremony was about 20 minutes long but I wished it was shorter. There is no entourage except for the emcee, who is my husband’s best friend. The official was my husband’s high school teacher. There were lots of bowing but one thing I recall is my husband’s “mano” to my mother. This is the “Western” portion of the ceremony. Afterwards, we had some picture taking and the “staged” bouquet throwing.

After the exhausting picture taking, we had the Korean ceremony in another room. I was really famished by that time since I didn’t have breakfast. I changed into “hanbok” that my attendant helped me with. Mostly just the family members and close friends attend this ceremony. There is one coordinator who told us what we should do. What I could remember was the wine drinking where we poured wine to each other’s cups and drank it with our arms intertwined, then we shared a “jujube”. More bowing and then it was the family members’ turn to greet us and extend their wishes to us. They also threw jujube on us that we tried to catch with my dress. After all the ceremonies, we went to the buffet area and that made me really happy!

I can’t share my wedding pictures since I don’t have them in digital format. However, here are some pictures of a wedding I attended last year.

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