a peek into a Filipino-Korean household in Seoul

Ang larawang nasa itaas ay ang simpleng puntod ng aking ama na namatay noong 1993, apat na araw bago ang kanyang kaarawan. Nag-aayos kami ng sorpresang pagdiriwang para sa kanya ngunit hindi na umabot ang sorpresang iyon. Namatay siya noong umaga ng Disyembre 17. Nang gabi ring iyon ay nagsilang ng isang sanggol na lalaki ang aking pangalawang ate.

Pictured above is the simple gravestone of my father who died in 1993, four days before his birthday. We were planning a surprise party for him but he left early. He died on the morning of December 17. That night, my second sister gave birth to a boy.

Ang aking ama ay isang sundalo na nagsilbi sa bayan mula 1952 hanggang 1973. Siya ay nagbitiw sa serbisyo ilang buwan pagkatapos ideklara ang Batas Militar. Siya ang nasa dulong kanan sa litrato sa ibaba.

My father was a soldier who served our country from 1952 to 1973. He retired from the service a few months after the declaration of Martial Law. He is the man on the right in the picture below.

Karagdagang impormasyon: Dito sa Korea ay hindi sineselebra ang “Araw ng mga Tatay” na kagaya ng nakasanayan natin sa Pilipinas. Bagkus, merong “Araw ng mga Magulang” na taun-taon na ginugunita tuwing ika-8 ng Mayo. Ang mga anak ay nagbibigay ng bulaklak na “carnation”.

Off-topic: Here in Korea, we don’t celebrate “Father’s Day” the way we do in the Philippines. Instead, we honor both our parents on “Parents’ Day” which is held every year on May 8th. Children offer “carnation” to their parents on this day.

Koreans, like Filipinos, eat rice everyday! It’s just fortunate that we are not experiencing a rice crisis here. Have you ever had a Korean meal? Having a Korean husband means eating Korean food everyday. It’s a good thing though that my husband eats lunch at work so I could get to eat what I want for lunch. This afternoon, I made chicken adobo with potatoes that I shared with my son.

Preparing Korean meal is tedious. Lots of “banchan” or side dishes and there always has to be a soup for every meal. When my parents-in-law are here (and they sometimes stay long!) I almost run out of meal ideas. They wouldn’t eat anything besides Korean food!

I’d finally made up my mind on what to do with this blog. I’d changed the title since “Myeoneuri” is kinda difficult to spell (and pronounce if you’re not used to it). I’d also changed the tagline of this blog. I’m hoping that I’d be able to update this as much as I can, specially that I’d be going back to school in August!

I’m a first time mom living in a foreign country where English is not an official language. I remember that when I was pregnant, I worried a lot. I thought I wouldn’t be a good mother able to take care of a newborn. Looking back, I got a lot of help from BabyCenter and I still visit the site from time to time.

I just love Babycenter as it has all the information one could ever need from preconception until your child is 9! I love the birth clubs most of all. I could interact with other moms and read about their experiences too.

Another website I frequent is Ask Dr. Sears. I’d seen Dr. Sears and his family in Dr. Phil’s show. The FAQ in the site is really helpful for nervous moms like me.

Being in a foreign country and not being in constant contact with the women in my family made me just glad that those sites are available. They’ve been saving me for more than two years now!

My son was supposed to be born on June 12, two years ago. However I had an early birth on May 24th. Before that, I always thought of giving him the name “Jayu” which means “freedom,” since his birthday was supposed to fall on the Philippines’ Independence Day. However, I couldn’t just follow my whim and we had to respect tradition.

Traditionally, Korean names consist of three syllables. The first syllable is the family name, second and third are either the generation name or given name. If you’ve been watching Korean dramas, you’d noticed that siblings usually share a common name. That’s what’s called the “generation name”. It’s really just intended for the boys in the family. In my husband’s family, their generation name is “Yong” (용) so him and his siblings all have “Yong” in their names.

I first thought that I should find a really nice name for my son, not very Korean since I thought that Korean names sound a bit different. However, I realized that he’s going to live here and we’re going to raise him here so it’s not really that important to have a nice-sounding name based on Filipino standards.

My son’s name is Seong Gyu (성규). It’s a combination of his father’s given name (용성 Yong Seong) and his generation name (규 Gyu). His male cousins also use that generation name. Like I said, only the boys in the family really follow that tradition.

Korean names are based on Chinese characters. So the same name might have different meanings and it all depends on their Chinese origin.

Ang larawang ito ay ang mga bandila ng mga bansang nakilahok o nagbigay ng suporta sa South Korea noong Korean War 1950-1953. Kung hindi dahil sa mga magigiting na sundalo na walang kiming ibinuwis ang kanilang buhay para sa kalayaan ng mga taong hindi nila kilala, maaaring iba ang naging kapalaran ng bansang tinitirhan ko ngayon.

Mga sundalong sumali sa giyera:

South Korea - 590.911; United States of America - 480,000; United Kingdom - 63,000; Canada - 26,791; Australia - 17,000; Philippines - 7,430; Turkey - 5,455; Netherlands - 3,972; France - 3,421; New Zealand - 1,389; Thailand - 1,294; Ethiopia - 1,263; Colombia - 1,068; Belgium - 900; South Africa - 826; Luxembourg - 44

Dito sa bansang Korea, ang kasal ay karaniwang ginaganap tuwing tag-sibol (Spring) at tag-lagas (Autumn). Ang lugar ng kasalan ay tinatawag na “Wedding Hall”. Karaniwan na may dalawang parte ang kasal dito. Ang una ay para sa estilong Kanluran kung saan nakasuot ng tradisyonal na puting damit ang babae at Amerikana naman sa lalaki. Ang pangalawang parte ay ayon naman sa tradisyon ng mga Koreano noon. Dito ay nakasuot ng “hanbok” o pambasang kasuotan ang ikinakasal. Isa sa seremonyas na ikinatutuwa ko sa tradisyonal na kasal nila ay ang pagbuhat ng lalaki sa babae sa kanyang likod o “piggy back ride” sa wikang Ingles. Ito raw ay simbolo na susuportahan ng lalaki ang kanyang asawa. Hindi namin ito ginawa noong ako’y ikinasal. Mas mabigat ako sa asawa ako at ayos lang na hindi sumunod sa tradisyon kesa naman mabalian siya ng buto sa araw ng aming kasal (paano naman ang pulot-gata?). Ang larawang ito ay sa kasal ng isang kaibigan.

I wrote in a previous post that when you marry a Korean, your name has to appear on the family register. However, there are two kinds of family registers in Korea. The first one is called 호적등본 (ho-jeok-deung-bon) and the other one is called 주민등본 (ju-min-deung-bon).

Our 주민등본 before having a child and changing citizenship and after

According to my husband, the 호적등본 is the general family registry. It is where all family members’ name is listed. The 주민등본 is the head of the family’s own register and only Korean citizens are listed. When you get married to a Korean, your name should be on the ho-jeok. You are not legally married if your name is not there. It will appear on a box below your husband’s name. As a foreign national, your name will not be listed on the ju-min. It will only appear there when you change your citizenship.

It used to be that only men can legally be the head of the family in Korea. That’s why when a woman has a child out of wedlock, the child is usually registered under the name of a couple in the family. It all changed during the Roh administration when they recognized that women can be heads of the family too.

When a woman in a Korean family gets married, her name is removed (marked as 제적) from her father’s ho-jeok and is transferred to her husband’s.

Dumukot ako sa baul ng aking mga litrato para sa edisyong ito ng Litratong Pinoy. Ang paksa sa linggong ito ay “Ihip ng Hangin”. Pagpasensiyahan na kung naparami ang aking lahok, natuwa lamang ako na marami-rami rin pala akong nakuhanan gamit ang aking nasirang point-and-shoot na Konica. Mga litrato ng tag-lagas (autumn) kung kailan maraming nalalagas na dahon dala ng ihip ng hangin.

Ang aking kaibigan na si Anna Banana. Natiyempuhan ko ang kanyang tuwa sa mga nalagas na dahon sa isla ng Nami (kung saan kinunan ang palabas na “Winter Sonata”)

Tag-lagas sa isla ng Nami

Si Ivan Mayrina, nakuhanan ko habang ginagaya ang litrato sa likod ni Bae Yong Joon.

Sa Ellis Island sa New York noong bumisita ako kasama ang aking ate.

Sa Central Park sa New York.

Sa labas ng bahay ng aking ate sa Ohio.

The total number of foreign spouses in Korea is more than 116,000, or 160,000 if those who have acquired Korean citizenship are included. And I know more than 40 of them personally. The number of Filipino men and women who are married to Koreans is 5,306. It’s a little less than I expected but then that figure doesn’t include those who are now Korean citizens. What surprised me is the increasing number of Cambodian spouses.

Foreign spouses surpass 110,000

By county, Chinese formed the biggest group of foreign spouses with 66,115 or 57 percent, followed by Cambodia with 25,640 and Vietnam with 23,301. Filipinos and Japanese numbered 5,306 and 5,711, respectively.

The Chinese as the biggest group of foreign spouses is not surprising at all. This number includes those who are of Korean descent. My sister-in-law’s brother is married to one, a Chinese national with purely Korean heritage.

Some 86 percent of them have lived in Korea less than four years and more than 30 percent of them lived in Gyeonggi Province including Incheon. Seoul has about 25 percent of the foreign spouses, South Gyeongsang Province including Busan has 12 percent, while 10 percent of them live in Jeolla Province including Gwangju.

I didn’t expect to know that more than half of the foreign spouses live in urban areas like Seoul, Incheon, Gwangju and Busan, considering that 96 percent are Asian. There’s a preconceived notion that if you’re an Asian here, you must have come from a poor background and that you’re married to a Korean farmer living in a rural area.